The Exhaustion of Resilience

This memorable tweet from writer/director Zandashé L’Orelia Brown went viral with very good reason: When you are a person who displays strength in the face of chaos and adversity, it can be incredibly discouraging to hear “You’ll land on your feet — you always do.”

Sometimes you just need a damn hug.

A resilient person doesn’t become that way by accident. “Bouncing back” requires concerted effort, focus, and emotional energy. It requires the will to adapt to change and keep one’s stress enough in check not to experience physical collapse. When the challenges are prolonged or intense, the mental and physical health impact can be exponential. 

If you are really going through it right now, know that we see you, and we acknowledge how hard this road is. It’s OK not to be OK — and it’s OK to ask for a damn hug.

And if you see an incredibly capable woman going through it right now, do us a favor: Listen with empathy. Tell her something you really value about her and admire. Don’t dismiss the difficulty of her road.

Resilience is built from necessity, and often hardship. Don’t make it harder.


Self-Care Sunday is devoted to you, with advice, insights, and tools to create true self-care, which goes beyond a home spa day. Not that there’s anything wrong with a home spa day. We’re in the bubble bath typing this right now.

Get Our Free Monthly Newsletter

Each month, our goal is to bring inspiration, resources, and maybe a little kick in the pants to your inbox. Think of it like sitting with us for a cuppa. We saved a chair at the table for you.